My Mom was a cleanliness freak. My relatives worshiped her like some sort of “pristine” goddess. And, I think…I have directly inherited the gene for it! That is why, my buddies call me Ms. Lysol. If ever, ‘The Southern Home Improvement’ magazine wanna run a column on “buffing the  kitchen counter top”…I have got a whole cover story for it!

I fret and fume over the finger prints on my glass wares. The instant any dust or lint disembarks, I mop and shine the floors! The moment, I dismember the garlic pods, I immediately banish the peels into the bin! “Spick and span zone”  is a motto written in my heart. My counter looks plain and totally kleen before, during and after cooking (Yeah, something to brag about)! I spend several agonizing hours over rearranging the gadgets completely out of sight. None of my spice jars / storage bottles gets jumbled up! I can simply hand down the exact item with my eyes closed! Even in absolute darkness, I can cook without making a fuss (weird trait)! My guests watch me ‘awe’…the way I move around in the kitchen. I seem to amaze everyone, while I religiously put everything in its own appropriate place. Sometimes, I myself wonder whether, maintaining this spot-free zone is my primary job or what?

And, I really perplex whenever there is a check to it!

So, whenever I have to accommodate folks from India into my immaculate abode…its a big challenge!  Especially, if they happen to love ‘turmeric’ and ‘tomato’ a lot! For the person who spray ‘frebreeze’ every eleven minutes…its bit tough, you know! Particularly, when they don’t promptly wipe away the mess they created!! So, mortified me…has to run behind the peels and dodge items on and on!! And, browse for the best cleaning solutions that claim to erase everything except the stove!!!

Well…often people do tempt me with their culinary skills and generally tend to offer help! I absolutely welcome the idea of cooking spree! But, when they start mixing the masalas, grind chutneys, fry crispies…its outrageously horrifying! I sometimes experience mild panic attack, for every dollop of spilled curries, charred cookwares, oil sprays…and so on! The idea of burning the eggplants for baingan ki bartha, really brings out the devil in me!! Bringing back the burner, back to normal isn’t that simple, alright! At several occasions people show up in my kitchen and paint the walls with ketchup and pickles! And, no matter what I do…some of the stains are simply damn too persistent, like a relic! Perhaps, “Clean” is an adjective to many out there, but rather a verb to some of us, here.

Anyway… maybe this kind of paranoid Malar got some real stuff to share with you all, today! So, here you go…some of my best cleaning solutions

How To Clean An Indian Kitchen

• I am just wondering, why we Indians always associate ‘clean’ with  “water” ?! Its the connotation that we often do during Hindu rituals. Purifying everything with a sprinkle of water! Perhaps…the water that we use must be clean enough to do so, right?! So, here cleaning by itself is bringing back all the germs to life! So, sprinkling water on a plantain leaf or using a wet plate to serve food only lubricates the dust!
• It looks so funny, when people invest several thousand dollars to build cabinets and cupboards, but still display their cooking gadgets over the counter! So, please find a spot to have them!
• There is something called ‘oil caddy’ and ‘dispenser’…use them! Because the oil that you place over the counter, very close to the stove is not a healthy practice. Its sticky, messy and invites insects!
• Never, ever place the snacks and treats over the counter. I understand you wanna let know the family members that such a such goodies are available and you all need to munch it up before it spoils. But, that’s the root for those lined up ants and buzzing fruit flies. So, don’t open a shop! Showcase a little…like a well sealed cookie jar, some fresh fruits and nuts will be fine.
• Clean up your kitchen sink the minute that it gets loaded!  Never postpone this work, as this is the germ factory. The warehouse for roaches and lizards. And, after done with dishes, dry them up instantly and stash sooner. And, don’t fail to wash up the sink and dry them as well.
• Its better to have a churner to get rid of the organic peels and wastes. But, if you couldn’t afford one, use a best garbage disposal possible. And, remember to take them out the each time it gets nearly full. If you find yourself bit lazy…be prepared to fight the fungus!
• Refrigerator – A devise that is designed for storing unwanted foods (for many people). The next time you intend to put anything into it…try to mark the date, time of preparation and when you are planning to eat it! Lets see, how you are managing!
• The floor could be either hardwood or vinyl tiles, no matter what! It has to be clean. Use disinfectants regularly. Make it sparkling kleeeen. just in case if you drop your favorite food…you can pick it up, even in front of others and eat it! I mean…that clean, not necessarily that you will have to do it.
• A word from the wise, do it yourself. Never trust your maids! Trust me, if you hire someone to care for your house, be prepared to lose something in advance as well! My mother was privileged to have an army of servants to take care of the house. Growing up, I have never had any pleasant memories associated with it (except with few exceptional workers). Maybe that is why, I turned out very independent unlike my Mother!

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